I Am The Person I Am

FLASH FICTION                        _

Filters? Only between my brain and my mouth.

Hungry? All the time, even if I’ve just eaten a sizable meal.

Why are you running, we just finished marching? Because I can.

How can you still play, you’ve been in the stratosphere for the last 15 minutes? I can go for an hour if I want. 

Why are you the way you are? 

I am the person I am.

How do you understand calculus and physics but you act like an idiot the moment you’re in band? Nature has a balance, doesn’t it?

How can you play this so well? Practice, practice, and more practice… As well as a miracle.

How do you explain how you seem so laid back most of the time, but when I ask you a simple question you snap at me like you’re inches from killing me? You wouldn’t believe how stressed you idiots make me.

What has made you who you are today? It starts with mom and dad. After physically making me, they shaped who I grew up to be. Then there’s influence from teachers and friends, followed by the internet.

If you went back in time to change something, what decision could you make to drastically alter you from who you are right now? Honestly, I would say sports. If I pursued sports more heavily, like instead of music and Scouting, I would be a different person. Sure I might still be an Eagle Scout, I would likely still be an incredible trombone player, but I wouldn’t be the same Eagle, the same trombone player.

Do you regret not pursuing sports more when you were younger? Not a bit.

I am the person I am. 

If you were to describe yourself using only a handful of words, how would you describe yourself? ...oof. How’s this, smart, but not. “That guy”, but the guy people like to be around, for some reason. Great with people, but hates nearly everyone. Thoughtful, but instinctual. 

...That was more than a handful, wasn’t it?      Yea, it was.

What are you most grateful for? Family and friends, no question. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? America, best country in my mind, hands down. Maybe I’d live in a different state, but I think in general, America is the best country to live in. 

Why do you feel this way? Well, for one thing, I’ve been a Boy Scout for most of my life. Patriotism is a big part of BSA, and it hasn’t gone lost on me. Also, America is the freest nation in the world overall, not just for me, but for all people who live here as a citizen. 

Is there anything about yourself that you would change if you could? Well, being a better Christian is always a goal, which is really difficult these days, but that’s something I can achieve if I really work for, like anything worth having.

Well, is there anything else you want to say to people who see this?

I am the person I am.

ARTIST STATEMENT                _

As you’ll see in the self-portrait, 2 images are in gray-scale, and 2 have thought bubbles that likely indicate what would’ve been going through my mind when the pictures were taken. The images used are my senior pictures, mostly because they’re the only pictures I know of that have looking decently presentable. Another reason I use them is because they do a good job of displaying me as the person I am. The first (top-left) picture of me displays me looking off into what seems to be a bright future. I say “what seems” because it will be, so long as I work hard and do well in the near future. This picture also shows that at this time during the picture taking I was getting hungry, and ya boi would’ve killed for a sandwich at that point. As I said in my flash fiction: “Hungry? All the time,...” The second and third (top-right and bottom-left) pictures both display another part of me, the Boy Scout. Because of my experience in Scouting, I have gained an appreciation for the outdoors, with little to no digital technology, and the most advanced tools we have are the tents and sleeping bags we have on the trail, with our compass being the next most useful thing we have.  

 The top-right picture especially reminds of the day I summited Baldy, the tallest mountain on the Philmont Scout Ranch. It was early in the morning, before 5am that we woke up and as a crew, we trekked up from Camp Miranda to the peak of Mt. Baldy, an elevation difference of 3500+ feet. The bottom left picture also displays me as a musician, a trombone player, and someone who likes being outside, sometimes. This picture has a text bubble on it, like the picture above it which gives insight to what I was likely thinking at the time. Like many people, I don’t like when my time is wasted, so if I have my instrument out and I’ve warmed up, you better let me play or I’m gonna be frustrated, because I feel like my time is being wasted, no matter how much help other sections need. The last picture (bottom-right) shows another important part of me. I’m an American, and I’m proud of it. The place the picture was taken is also relevant. Long before I was born, my grandpa served in the military, and he fought in the Korean War. When he was taken to boot camp, he was shipped out of Union Station to boot camp. Coincidentally, I had a few pictures taken at Union Station, and when I saw the flag from the second floor, I wanted to have my aunt, who took these pictures, get one of me with the flag behind me. 

REFLECTION                                  _________

Many high school students that take Perspectives in Literature and composition will tell you that the class is relatively easy, and some might even say it’s a boring class. So let’s take a look at it. In the first 8 weeks, a Perspectives class investigates personality, personality theory, bias, implicit bias and association, and then looks at some sources that focus on these topics. A paper is then written that talks about an issue, making an argument, and supporting it with evidence from at least one of the sources mentioned. To the high school students mentioned above, they are either really good in English classes, or they aren’t interested at all by these things and they don’t like it.

One of the sources that we looked at in this class was the Hidden Brain Podcast episode, “I’m Right, You’re Wrong”. Hosted by Shankar Vedantam, this episode focused on how someone’s bias can keep them from recognizing the truth, even when more than enough evidence is presented to them: “Many people responded positively to evidence that agreed with their beliefs, but any information that ran contrary to their beliefs elicited a negative reaction.” (Right). Some people, like the ones mentioned above, don’t care or don’t like talking about things like bias or personality, maybe thinking its stupid, and then not giving it another thought. This makes sense because if they try do something that they don’t want to do, more often than not, they won’t try, they won’t put 100% effort into their work, and they certainly won’t enjoy it.

At the beginning of the year, I certainly was one of these people who was bored by perspectives. The whole personalities, bias, implicit bias, and the rest of it I could’ve cared less about. This didn’t challenge me at all, I didn’t enjoy it, and I certainly didn’t have fun. However, once we started writing about stuff, I felt challenged, and I need to get good grades in my classes to get all the scholarship money I can to not pay as much for college, and I really started to enjoy or at least feel invested in my class.

Overall, I guess I'm starting to enjoy this class. As much as I don't like doing them, I am enjoy these projects and the challenge they give me. Hopefully I keep enjoying this class for the rest of the year!