To fear your own face

Flash Fiction:

Makeup is her mask. It hides her insecurities and makes her feel whole, she feels it  deep in her soul. When the makeup is gone, she feels naked and wrong, like she doesn’t belong. She fears no one will accept her, she fears her own face. What a disgrace.

The artist statement:

In my self portrait I decided to do a half face of makeup to show the two sides of me. The insecure side without makeup and the more confident side with makeup. On the non-makeup side I added words that I have been called that has made me feel the way I do about myself. The words I used are not just words, but emotions that have gone through my body when I’ve been called them. They are my tears and my hurt. My makeup is my happy side, the side where I feel most me, even though it is far from me. I blurred out the background of my picture to keep the focus on my face and what matters in the picture. Overall, I have always been a self conscious person and makeup has helped me see a side of me that is happier.

Reflection:

Makeup is a way of expression as well as a mask to hide your true features, and aspects of yourself that you don’t like. According to a research study done by Harvard Medical school, “wearing makeup can make a woman feel more positive about herself'" (star2.com). Wearing makeup can go farther than that, it also, “can give individuals a confidence boost by making them feel more physically attractive, increasing feelings of self-esteem, attitude, and personality.” Makeup is more than just a smooth application of cosmetics. It is a confidence booster.

The author is saying that makeup is more than an application of cosmetics to the face. It is a doorway to confidence. As far as positivity goes, If you’re feeling more positive, it can make others around you feel more positive too. So, wearing makeup doesn’t just benefit you but it improves the lives of others around you too. We took a personality text from the “16 Personalities” website and I was named a “Mediator” ("personality") A few traits that describe me are creative, passionate and self conscious. This didn’t surprise me the slightest. Wearing makeup explains all of these traits.

I am creative by the way I think of new ways to apply or blend the makeup almost everyday. I am passionate about makeup, it’s what I look forward to doing every morning. Now self conscious isn’t positive but it is what I am, makeup helps me with this to feel more confident. Identities are formed by your day to day lives and how you vision yourself. I don’t think we have a lot of control over our identities. We are who we are, and we like what we like. That is what defines us. We weren’t just born knowing our identities, you grow into them. I’m still growing into mine.

Identity is "the fact of being who or what a person or thing is." This being said, identity is who you are as a person, it is what defines you. Only you have the power to be you and control your life. For me, I am still seeking the power within myself to love myself. Wearing makeup will always be a part of my life because it makes me a happier and more comfortable me.